Years ago, I was in Seville, Spain, wandering through a ceramic shop with a friend. I fell in love with two vases but only had space for one.
I agonized over the decision, analyzing every detail, convinced there was a right choice. Finally, my friend said:
"Amy, you act like there’s one right vase. There isn’t. Whichever one you choose will be the right one. You’ll forget about the other one."
She was right. I picked a vase. We'd barely left the shop before I forgot about the other one entirely. And once I got it home, it became a favorite vessel for many a summertime arrangement.
That was "just" a vase, but it turns out what's true for vases🏺 is true for most of life's choices...
Decisions are not predictions...
... but the actions we take AFTER the decision ARE.
We act like there’s a perfect choice hiding somewhere, waiting to be uncovered. We overanalyze, stress, and hesitate—fearing regret.
But here’s the thing: Science tells us we cannot predict the future (I know, frustrating!). And yet, many of us treat decisions as if they’re a test in clairvoyance.
The problem isn’t the choice itself—it’s how we relate to it after we decide.
Harvard psychologist Ellen Langer* puts it best: "It’s not about making the right decision. It’s about making the decision right."
The happiest people? They don’t always make better choices. They commit to their choices and make them work.
The hack: Decide, then make it right
👉 Picked a new city? Go all in—find community, explore, make it home.
👉 Selected a new job? Find ways to grow, connect, and make it yours.
👉 Swiped right? Show up with curiosity and give it a real shot.
It’s not about picking perfectly. It’s about what you do after you pick.
👉 Try a “Make-it-Right” experiment
To build the muscle for the big things, practice with the small ones. This week, make a small decision and make it right:
✅ Order something without second-guessing—Pick a dish at a restaurant or a drink at a café without scanning the whole menu or wondering if you should’ve picked something else.
👉 Make it right by savoring every bite or sip—notice what you like about it and enjoy the experience (avert your gaze from your friend's dish! 🤣).
✅ Make a small purchase and trust it—Choose a new book, a shirt, or a candle without endlessly comparing or regretting the one you didn’t buy.
👉 Make it right by fully enjoying it—wear the shirt, light the candle, start the book, and appreciate what drew you to it in the first place.
✅ Reach out to a friend and make a plan—Send a text, set a time, and don’t overcomplicate logistics. Just go with what works and enjoy the moment.
👉 Make it right by being fully present—put your phone away, soak up the conversation, and appreciate the time together.
Then just notice: What happens when you back your own choices instead of doubting them?
Let me know what you find—hit reply or share your best “made-it-right” moment!
Make-it-right with a friend.
Forward this and challenge each other: Who can make the most magic happen out of a no-turning-back choice?
And next week?
We’re talking AI—how to use it for better decision-making (and how not to let it make you more stuck).
If this was forwarded to you, make the decision right 😊—subscribe here so you don’t miss next week!
Speaking of decisions...
... a weird internet quote made me reflect on whether there are bad ones.
And speaking of experiments…
I’m testing ways to make this newsletter feel more like play than reading:
✅ Interactive—so we build wisdom together.
✅ Connected—because real change happens with others.
✅ Shareable—so insights don’t get stuck in your inbox.
Tell me what lands (or flops!)—you’re shaping this with me, and I’m grateful. 💛
Can’t wait to hear how it goes,
Amy
*Want to hear Ellen in her own words? Watch to 48.29.
