A few years ago, I was dating someone and trying to figure out if it was going to go the distance.
While driving with my friend Tracy, she said: “Alright, picture a virtual whiteboard.”
She grabbed an imaginary marker (I was driving so couldn't virtually write of course 🤣), and we started listing all the signs that it was going well. Solid list. Promising vibes.
Then I said, “Now let’s write down the signs that it's not going well.”
She cut me off: “Nope. We’re throwing away the marker. We’re only focusing on the positive signals.”
🚨 Spoiler alert: that relationship didn’t work out.
But I don’t regret the approach. Because here’s the thing:
👉 Sometimes, we can’t tell if something’s not right… or just not yet.
And the only guaranteed way to make sure it never works? Quit too soon.
The mistake I could have made was deciding it was over before I had any real evidence that it was. (Classic case of the brain’s negativity bias—thanks, evolution.)
What’s true in dating is true in so many areas of life:
🧠 Starting a business and wondering if it’ll ever take off?
🗺️ Moving to a new city and haven’t found your people yet?
🎨 Launching a creative project and it’s mostly just a vague vision and blind faith?
You can either focus on the gaps… Or you can keep your eye on the tiny signals that it is working—and assume it’s going to be a wild success.
One of the things I hear often from clients when helping them find what's next is that it's so easy to second-guess.
There are many ways to reduce this feeling—but one of them is not giving up too soon.
As a business owner, I’ve had plenty of “oh shit, is this going to work?” moments. And I’ve come to this very unscientific conclusion:
Success is 98% stick-to-itiveness and 2% actual business-ing.
Every founder I share this with nods solemnly, like I’ve just quoted scripture.
And what's true for business is true for all aspects of life. So:
🔎 Focus on what is working.
➡️ Keep going.
✨ And you'll find your way to right.
🧪 If this sounds easier said than done…
That’s where experimentation comes in.
We experiment our way to confidence—by taking small, intentional steps and seeing what happens.
Action with curiosity, not pressure.
And if your body is shouting: “But this feels risky!”—yeah, that’s valid too.
In somatic work, there’s a concept called overcoupling—when two experiences get stuck together even if they don’t belong in the same room.
Like:
🚫 Effort = Wrong
🚫 Uncertainty = Danger
🚫 Optimism = I’m about to get my heart broken again, thanks.
Experimentation helps untangle those wires. It rewires the story in your body 💃🏼, not just your brain 🧠. (Get started with experimentation here if you're curious.)
🤔 What if it is working?
Here are some signs you might be in a “not yet” season—not a “not right” one:
💡 You still believe in the why, even if the how is unclear.
🌱 You feel doubt, but not disconnection. There’s still a pull.
🔄 You’re evolving, even if the outcome hasn’t fully taken shape.
Of course, you don’t want to stay in limbo forever. And you don’t want to stick with something that genuinely feels off.
But if you can look at the situation and still feel lit up—even just a flicker—and you’re in a different place than you were a month ago… Ask yourself: What’s the real cost of sticking it out a little longer?
Or, put another way:
👉 Do I want to pull the plug—or stay curious for a little longer?
💡 3-min practice: Start an “It’s Working” jar
Your brain is wired to spot what’s wrong. You have to train it to notice what’s right. Here’s how:
🧭 Step 1: Choose the thing you’re questioning.
Your business. A relationship. A creative project. Something unclear but important.
Write a positive statement in present tense:
💼 I am running a sustainable and beloved business.
👩❤️👨 I am in a healthy and fun relationship.
🎨 I am thriving with this creative outlet.
⏱ Step 2: Set a timer for 2 minutes.
Jot down every small signal that it might be working. Not proof—just evidence. E.g. for a new creative outlet:
-
Someone asked a thoughtful question about it
-
You caught yourself smiling while working on it
-
A new idea popped up without forcing it
-
You felt a little more grounded today than yesterday
-
Someone offered to help or collaborate
-
A detail finally clicked into place
-
You talked about it with someone and felt proud
-
You didn’t feel ready, but you showed up anyway
- You found yourself daydreaming about what it could become
📥 Step 3: Drop each one into a jar.
Scraps of paper, sticky notes, a digital folder—anything goes. The only rule? Like Tracy's virtual whiteboard, this jar is only for signs that it’s working.
Keep adding to it. Watch it fill up. On hard days, peek inside.
Let it remind you: Just because you can’t see the progress doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Want to keep experimenting with this mindset? Hit reply and let me know what your “It’s Working” jar might be for.
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Amy
