Ever feel stuck between two impossible choices? Move to the countryside or stay in the city. Take the stable job or chase the dream. Be grounded or be adventurous.
It’s like an existential tug-of-war, and you’re the rope. But what if the real problem isn’t indecision—it’s the way you’re framing the question?
We assume choices are binary, but they’re not. They’re just different needs clamoring for attention. And needs needn't cancel each other out—they can be designed for.
The myth of either-or
Most people don’t get stuck because they can’t decide. They get stuck because they think they have to choose between competing needs.
Take the “small” stuff:
🍫 Sweet OR Savory → Needs are enjoyment vs. nourishment
🛋 Couch OR Cardio → Feeling good now vs. feeling good long-term
🌅 Relaxing OR Productive Morning → Ease vs. momentum
Framing choices as either/or makes us feel trapped. But when we recognize the underlying needs, we unlock a better question: 💡How might I design for both?
Turning Decisions into Design
Instead of picking sides, get curious about needs.
Take mornings. If you're torn between a slow start and getting stuff done, don’t choose—outsmart the dilemma:
✅ Alternate mornings—Some for deep work, some for ease. (Be both a Monday person and a Sunday person. 🤣)
✅ Blend both—Wake up, meditate, work 25 min, walk, repeat. (It’s basically productivity interval training.🏋🏻♀️)
✅ Redefine productivity—Start with tasks you enjoy. (If you love writing, save it for mornings. Let joy be the conduit between ease and momentum.☺️)
The goal? Shift from choosing to creating—so decisions feel expansive, not limiting.
🔥 2-minute hack: The Third Way
👉🏻 This week's hack: find a Third Way in an otherwise contradictory choice. Try one of these this week or design your own:
🥗 Cook vs. Takeout → You want nourishing food AND something quick.
✅ The Third Way: Stock up on shortcuts—pre-chopped veggies, rotisserie chicken, frozen grains—so you can assemble a meal in minutes without sacrificing nutrition. Or, order takeout but balance it out with a simple homemade side (e.g., add a bagged salad to your pizza).
🍳 Sweet vs. Savory Breakfast → You want fun & indulgence AND something filling.
✅ The Third Way: Make a mini breakfast board—boiled egg, berries, toast with nut butter. You get variety, satisfaction, and no existential crisis at 8 a.m.
👫 Social Time vs. Solo Time → You want connection AND recharge.
✅ The Third Way: Go to a coffee shop, park, or co-working space where you’re around people but not obligated to interact. Social osmosis.
Share this with a friend and compare notes. What daily conundrums prompted you to think of The Third Way? And What surprised you when you tried it?
Big life decisions work the same way
Here’s a secret (shh): This works for the big stuff too.
When faced with choices that seem like opposites, get curious instead of cornered.
Here’s the playbook:
1️⃣ Ask why each choice matters. What needs are you actually trying to meet?
2️⃣ Design three new options that honor both sets of needs.
Choosing between:
🛡 Stability OR Adventure → Ask: What does stability actually give me? What about adventure?
🕊 Freedom OR Connection → Do I want freedom from responsibility or freedom to explore? And what do I actually crave from connection?
⚡ Security OR Excitement → Why do I crave security? What does excitement mean to me?
Once you know, challenge yourself to create three ways to meet those needs—without forcing a trade-off. (This is a muscle you need to build, so if it feels hard, start small and work up. And if you want help, I'm here. Book a free exploratory call with me.)
Because the best life isn’t a compromise—it’s a creation.
Next Week: How to take action when you’re still unsure—and why experiments build confidence.
If this was forwarded to you, don’t waffle on this—subscribe here so you don’t miss next week!
To designing your way forward,
Amy
Photo by Rui Silvestre on Unsplash
